


Maybe, Just Maybe

by Sam_Eller



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, Brothers, Caring Dean, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Pre-Series, Scared Sam, Stanford Era, Worried Sam, comforting jess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3597990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Eller/pseuds/Sam_Eller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Sam wakes up from a nightmare and needs his big brother to make everything okay.  All the while Dean needs his little brother to remind him that he’s not alone. One-shot. Stanford-era. Pre-series. Frightened/Worried/Sam, Comforting/Jess, and Big Brother/Caring/Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Something was coming._

_I couldn't tell what it was, but I knew that it was coming._

_A dark shadow travelled closer and I tried my hardest to get moving, but I couldn't._

_No matter what I did, my feet remained planted to the ground, as though there was concrete locking them down._

_I struggled to lift my legs, to run from the shadow, but I had no luck._

_I searched for a weapon, anything I could utilize to fight off the approaching threat._

_When no solution could be found, I stood there, fear flowing through my veins as I watched the dark figure move closer._

_Then, out of nowhere, Dean appeared._

_"Dean!" I called out in relief, pointing towards the shadow._

_My brother looked at it, setting himself between me and the advancing danger. He didn't have a weapon, but he stood there, his back to me as the darkness approached._

_"No Dean, run!" I yelled out, watching in horror as the man held his position._

_I forced myself to move. My legs felt like they were lead weights as I forced them to cooperate._

_"Run Dean! Run!" I pleaded, trying desperately to sprint towards him, but managing nothing more than a slow-motion shuffle._

_The figure was practically on him, and though I still couldn't make out what it was, I knew that it was evil._

_"Dean!" I cried, my brother looking back at me over his shoulder, his green eyes piercing mine as a small smile crossed his face._

_"Don't worry Sammy." He said softly, before turning back to face the danger._

_"No! Dean!" I couldn't get close enough, couldn't move fast enough. All I could do was watch as the darkness swallowed up my big brother._

"No!" I screamed, bolting up in bed.

I looked frantically around the room, my breathing erratic as I struggled to get a grip on reality.

The bedroom door opened, and someone rushed in. I flinched away from the hands that settled on my shoulders.

"Sam, it's just me."

I squinted up, the light streaming in from the open door allowed me to recognize the worried face staring down at me.

"Jess." I sighed in understanding.

"Yes baby, I'm right here." She cooed and sat down on the side of the bed, her small hands sliding comfortingly up and down my arms.

I shivered, a cold sweat coded my skin as I placed a shaky hand onto Jess's thigh, in an attempt to ground myself.

"Take deep breaths Sam." She whispered, resting her palms against my chest.

I obeyed, sucking in one deep, but shaky inhale after another until I was no longer panting.

"That's it sweetheart." She encouraged with a smile.

"You alright?" Jess asked, her fingers gliding along my cheeks. It wasn't until I felt her wipe moisture from my skin that I realized I must have been crying.

"Yeah, sorry. It was just a nightmare." I apologized, knowing I had probably scared the crap out of her.

"It's okay. You get those a lot?" Jess questioned, sympathy oozing from her voice.

"Every now and then." I shrugged, because she was going to find out, we had just moved in to the same apartment last week.

She nodded, taking in the new information.

"You still sure you want to live together?" I questioned, sliding her loose blonde hair from face.

"I think I can handle some nightmares babe. Besides, it's kind of nice to know you aren't entirely flawless." She replied with a lighthearted grin.

"Believe me Jess, I'm not flawless." I stated, my tone portraying more emotion than I had intended.

"You don't give yourself enough credit Sam." She admonished lightly, resting her head against mine.

I leaned my forehead back in return and closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around her back. Some days I wished that I could tell Jess about my past, about who I am, but it was safer that she didn't know. I couldn't take that innocence from her. I would never introduce her to the world that haunted my dreams.

We stayed head to head for a moment, while I attempted to push the nightmare from my mind and absorb the peace and comfort Jess was providing.

I could feel here gaze studying me, her hands travelling up my chest to rest near my collarbone. By her silence and the eyes I could feel examining my face, I knew that my girlfriend was wondering what questions she should ask, if any. At this point in our relationship, Jess knew better than to pry. She knew that too many questions, especially about my past, caused me to shut down; but after my display, I didn't think she'd be able to resist making a few inquiries. Once I heard the young woman in front of me take a deep breath, I mentally braced myself for an onslaught of questions.

"Well, if you can put up with my shoe obsession and all of my annoying friends, I suppose I can live with your nightmares." She whispered, I could hear the smirk in her voice before I opened my eyes to see it.

"Although for your sake, I wish I could get rid of them." She finished, sad eyes staring into mine.

I smiled in response.

"I can handle it." I assured her confidently.

"I know you can." Jess responded, placing her hand along my jaw and bringing her lips to mine.

The kiss was sweet and soft, soothing my nerves and worries almost instantly.

"You should go study." I instructed her in a whisper as we pulled away.

"Buzz Kill." She accused.

I chuckled at the unexpected response, but the amusement faded as I was reminded of my brother and all the times he had given me the very same title.

The change of emotion must have shown on my face, because Jess' smile faded and her eyes shone concern.

"You going to be okay?"

I plastered on a convincing expression and nodded in confidence.

"I'm good."

The inquisitive look I received made it clear Jess wasn't buying it, but I kept my gaze steady, and eventually she nodded.

"I should be finished soon. You've got an early class tomorrow, so try and get some rest." My girlfriend instructed me, giving my upper arms a squeeze as she stood from the bed.

I lied back on the mattress, exhibiting my intention to do exactly that.

"I'll be in the kitchen, yell if you need anything." She stated, sending me a serious stare from the doorway.

"Yes m'am." I replied, miming a mock salute.

Jess laughed as she left the room, pulling the door partially closed, but not completely.

She was way to good for me, I thought as I rolled onto my side.

I tried to fall back to sleep, but all I could do was think about my brother.

I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed my cellphone, flipping it open and scrolling through my contacts.

I stopped at 'Dee'.

My finger hovered over the call button. It had been awhile since I'd talked to Dean. I called him quite often my first few months at school, but it became too painful. It became increasingly difficult to hang up the phone, and I was afraid that I would give up and go back to hunting, just so I could stop missing him.

So I stopped. I stopped calling in hopes that it would help me forget. Forget how much I missed Dean. How much I needed him, and more importantly, how much he needed me; because I couldn't go back to that life. I hated hunting. Hated what it did to my family. Hated what it did to my soul. So I had to stop calling, because I knew that if ever Dean asked me to return...I would go.

I also knew that there was no way I would be getting any sleep if I didn't know for certain that he was alright

I wouldn't have to use my voice, I just needed to hear his.

I pressed the green button, placing the phone to my ear and listening to the ring, only one went by before the call was answered, Dean had always been quick to pick up.

"Hello." He said, his gruff tone filling the dead air.

I couldn't stop myself from releasing a relieved breath I hadn't even known I was holding.

"Sammy?"

I froze, just now realizing I would raise Dean's suspicions if I simply hung up.

"You alright?" The concern in my brother's voice was clear as day and impossible to ignore.

"Come on man, you're freaking me out." He continued after a period of silence.

If I just hung up now, there was no doubt in my mind that Dean would jump in the Impala and drive straight here.

"I'm okay." I finally responded, voice soft and tired as I sunk into my pillow.

"I uuh...Just wanted to make sure that you were." I stuttered out after a moment.

"I'm good, little brother." I could hear the smile in Dean's answer and a lump appeared in my throat.

God I missed him.

Missed him so much that it hurt.

My chest physically ached.

"Okay." I choked out, immediately ending the call before my brother could speak another word.

I kept the closed phone in my grip, holding it against my chest as I closed my eyes; swiftly brushing away the tears that slipped out beneath my eyelids.

I felt my cell vibrate and I didn't need to check the collar ID to know who it was. I let it ring, because I had no doubt that I would fall apart if I were to answer.

A few minutes later I began to drift to sleep to the sound of Jess' clicking calculator and rustling pages, but I was pulled back to full consciousness by the single vibration against my chest.

A text.

I pried my eyes open, bringing the phone up to my face and flipping it open.

"Night Sammy."

I smiled at the simple words, thinking about how much I missed the childish form of my name that only Dean held the right to use.

With half-lidded eyes I texted my reply.

"Goodnight Dean."

I fell to sleep that night thinking about how grateful I was to have a beautiful, kind, girlfriend who was far too good for me and a brother who loved me even though I had broken his heart.

Maybe, just maybe, someday I could have a life where the people I loved the most in the world could meet and get to know each other.

A life where we could all be a family.

A life where we could be safe.

A life without the darkness that haunted my dreams.

A life where maybe, just maybe, we could all be happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Another hunt finished.

Another no-name town.

Another sketchy motel.

Another night to myself with nothing better to do than throw back a few beers and stare mindlessly at the infomercials playing out on the small television.

At three in the morning there really wasn't much going on, specifically in dead-beat towns located in the dull state of Minnesota.

I sighed in boredom, still too wound up from tonight's hunt to be able to sleep.

The job was done.

The bar was closed.

Dad was off wrapping up a hunt in Missouri and we were meeting up in Iowa sometime tomorrow.

I had literally nothing to do.

I was in the midst of learning about a new and improved all-in-one butcher knife that could cut through literally anything, when I felt a vibration in my pocket.

I pulled my phone out, surprised that it still worked after I had practically felt it crack a few hours ago when I was chucked into a tree. I squinted at the damaged screen, unable to make out the name or number that should have been displayed.

I shrugged, flipping th phone open and holding it to my ear, answering wasn't much of a gamble when only a handful of people had your phone number.

I was half hoping that it was Dad calling to tell me he wanted to meet sooner and give me a reason to vacate the dingy motel room.

"Hello?"

There was a soft sigh at the other end, not the least bit identifiable...well it wouldn't have been had I not known it's owner better than anyone else on the planet, including myself.

"Sammy?"

It wasn't a question, I knew exactly who was on the other end of the line, it was a prompt to get the kid talking.

It didn't work.

I sat up in bed, swinging my legs off the side, ready to jump in the Impala and rush to my brother at a moment's notice.

"You alright?" I asked.

I glanced at the clock, three-thirty in the morning, which would make it about one-thirty for Sam. That was later than the little geek normally liked to stay up on a school night, especially since it was Wednesday and I was pretty sure that he had an early class tomorrow morning.

Something was keeping the kid up.

Something that had him upset enough to give me a call, which he hadn't done in a while.

I was thinking a nightmare, that was the usual culprit when Sammy wasn't able to sleep.

But I needed to hear his voice, to make sure there wasn't more going on.

Because what if it was worse.

What if he was hurt.

"Come on man, you're freaking me out." I confessed, the balls of my feet pressing against the carpet, ready to take my weight if my little brother needed me.

"I'm okay." He finally replied.

I took a deep breath, because he was, I could hear it in his tone. He was tired and maybe a little upset, but he was okay.

My body relaxed, a tension I hadn't even noticed was arive was already easing away. I pulled my legs back up onto the bed and leaned against the headboard, now that I was certain Sam wasn't in any danger, I was intent to find out what he was calling for.

Not that there had to be a reason, god knows I'd be happy just to talk about the damn weather if it meant I could have a conversation with the kid.

But Sam Winchester always had a reason.

I waited, because there was another thing about my brother that I had learnt over the years, you don't push him, you wait for him to come around.

God I wished our father had been able to figure that one out. Then maybe I wouldn't have wait for a call in order to find out how Sam was doing.

"I uuh...just wanted to make sure that you were."

There it was.

He was worried.

Sam called me up in the middle of the night, because he was worried.

He was worried about me.

I'd be lying if I said that didn't warm my heart and bring an instant smile to my face.

"I'm good, little brother." I assured him, the same way I had countless times before and it worked just as well as it always had.

Sam's stuttered breathing smoothing over immediately, but only for a second.

I heard a familiar catch in the voice on the other end of the phone, and I could almost see Sam chewing on his bottom lip, struggling to hold back the emotions fighting to come through.

"Okay." He said, his voice thick, the way it always got when he was trying not to cry.

Before I could ask any more questions or offer further assurances, there was a dial tone sounding in my ear.

I pulled my cell away and stared down at it accusingly.

Had it died?

No, it looked to be working alright.

So it must have been Sam's end that cut out.

Had _his_ cell died?

Or he dropped it maybe?

But he hadn't called back yet.

Sam was number one on my speed dial, but I hesitated briefly before punching it in.

Because a part of me knew that the call hadn't ended by accident.

But just in case...

As I listened to each ring, I became certain that Sam had intentionally hung up the phone.

I sighed once I head his voice-mail and snapped my cell closed spinning it around distractedly as my mind worked.

I wanted to ask my brother about his nightmare, although based on his worry for me, it was pretty clear what fear had haunted his dreams.

I desired nothing more than to comfort my kid brother.

To make everything okay for him.

I wanted to go pick him up from school and bring him home.

I wanted to put my family back together.

But that wasn't what Sam wanted.

No, Sam wanted nothing to do with hunting or vendettas.

He wanted normal.

He wanted school.

He wanted independence.

And I needed to respect that, no matter how much it went against my big brother instincts or how much it hurt not to have the shaggy headed kid sitting next to me.

I laid flat on the bed, exhaustion rolling over me as I sunk into the half-decent mattress. I sent a longing glance to the left, to the bed furthest from the door.

God what I wouldn't give to see lanky octopus limbs sprawled across it.

I sighed again, shaking my head, wishing for one second that I could stop thinking about my little brother. I snorted at the stupidity of that thought, because Sam was the one thing on this godforsaken planet that I couldn't stop thinking about, not since the day he'd been born.

It hurt thinking about Sam, because it reminded me that he wasn't here, reminded me how much I missed the little bitch.

But there was some comfort in knowing that wasn't a one way street.

That I wasn't the only one struggling with this separation, or the only one who felt like they were missing an important part of themselves.

I could hear all the same longing and the same hurt in my little brother's voice.

I could hear him missing me, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me feel just a little bit better.

I'd be lying if I said that my brother's concern didn't bring me just a little bit of joy.

It was hard to remember sometimes that even though Sammy was the one who left, it didn't make him immune to the pain of separation or the loneliness of making a life detatched from your family.

I took the phone that I had been fiddling with, and flipped it open, making out just enough of the screen to punch out a short text and hit send.

It was simple, but it expressed as much as was necessary.

"Night Sammy."

Those two simple words were all I needed.

They said: You're not alone.

I'm here.

I'll always be here when you need me.

And I miss you.

Because god did I fucking miss that kid.

But maybe, just maybe, one day I wouldn't have to anymore.

One day I would find a way to fit in to Sam's new normal life.

One day, once the demon was dead, Dad could to.

One day, we could all be together again.

And when my cell vibrated, a discriminating squint at the cracked screen allowed me to read two simple words.

"Night Dean."

That was all I needed to know that Sammy shared in my dreams for the future.

My dreams that maybe, just maybe, one day we could all be happy, as a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think! - Sam

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please review/comment if you have a second. - Sam


End file.
